May 24 2013 - Home again

We are home after spending the last week in the hospital.  Jesse developed a fever of 102.1 on Friday, May 17 2013; which is the one year anniversary since he was diagnosis,  and we have been in the hospital since then.

May 17 2012 - The beginning.

    We have created this blog so that we can keep all of our family and friends updated on what and how jr is doing.

I shall begin at the beginning.

It was on May 17th 2012 that I had came home and we had noticed he had little blue and purple spots all over his body. That previous sunday he was riding hi bike and obtained some bruises and then monday he had a few more bruises from his bike too.  on tuesday the bruises had gotten bigger but we just thought that he got hurt riding his bike or playing with his brother. At this point I took him to the IHC clinic in layton to find out why these appeared over night. 

At IHC the doctor had done some blood tests and noticed that his white cell count was extremely high and his platlett count was extremely low.  The doctor had requested an ambulance to excort us to Primary Childrens Hospital becuase they thought he might have leukemia.

At the emergency room at Primary they had confirmed that he did have leukemia becuase his white cells were at 165 and his platelet count was at 14.   They stated that they wouldn't know the actual type of leukemia until friday ( the next day) around 11 am.   Thursday night was ruff for me, not knowing what he had or if he was going to survive.   What would happen to him?  He has barely started to live.  He hadn't experienced life, what about his first sports game, finally learning the alphabet, going to school and making new friends? What about JR high and Highschool?  His first date? His Graduation? College? Marriage and children?  Will he ever be able to experience any of this?  Too many questions that I can no longer say yes to.  I wait as my baby sleeps for now.

May 18 2012

Dr. Jack Staddon came in and discuss Jesse's leukemia and what we would need to do for him now.  That day was long and I was feeling myself tear down.  My mind was being overloaded with names and treatments.  My body was tiring.  Why did this have to happen to my baby? I think to myself that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle but I didn't think I was going to make it even with that consolation.  My faith wavered and my soul screamed out, crying in anger that this couldn't be.  I called my dad because Jesse's sperm donor couldn't make it.  He was too busy with work to come!  My dad came.  He flew from Oregon and took a week off of work to be with me in the hospital.  Sperm donor came by for only 2 hrs that whole entire week.

May 25 2012 - we were released to go home....


for the next little while, Jesse and my life was trying to adjust to the new way of things.  If only that was all that was going to happen.  My life does not remain dull for long...

June 23 2012 - My birthday and the day that my life concave in and the beginning of the end of  Jesse's sperm donor and my relationship.  I was blind sided by selfishness that emanated from Jesse's paternal family.   I was lead to believe that family was family and no matter what they did you still loved them,  maybe not like what they did but still loved them and supported them in the efforts to get them the help they needed.  Especially if is was a 15 yr old boy (my oldest son) that was in need.


Now I have two children who needed their family love and support.  Jesse (3yr) physically effected with leukemia and Andrew (15yr) mentally effected with severe depression and PTSD that lead to wrong decisions.   

July 23 2012
I couldn't take it any more.  I broke up with Jesse's father because I would be better off with out someone draining me more financial, mentally and physcially but wo

January 6 2013 - A new year and a beginning to Maintenance. (Maybe)

On January 2 2013, Jesse started showing sigh of petechiae the day before we went in for his chemo treatment.  I called Dornbechers and let them know that he was starting to show the petechiae that night.  We went in the morning of January 3 2013, and they gave him his PEG and vincristine.  After wards they gave him a blood and plasma transfusion.

He started getting a temperature that was greater than 100.4.   They admitted us that night and took blood samples to see if anything grows in the cultures.  The next morning after Jesse ate his mini breakfast of fruit loops, his belly grew hard. No one could figure what was going on.  We gave him medicine that would make him pass gas but no success.  His belly still remained hard.   They have even change his antibiotic.

Today is January 6 2013 and  we are waiting to go to CT scan  for his burgeoning belly.  There is one person before us.  In the mean time, I will listen to his baby grunts and little cries of pain when he accidentally shifts.  For now I sit at his side waiting and loving him.